A Holiday Message
Reprinted from 2024 ~~> Thank you, Chris. Wherever You Are.
I agree with those who are saying we're about to have some dark times ahead, here in what we’re still calling the U.S. of A.
Whether you have an appetite for the impending chaos, or an appetite to somehow resist what you feel needs resisting; or, even if you have neither (and/or never did—maybe you didn't even vote), this is a very short public service announcement (PSA).
Here it is. My PSA for 2025 2026 and beyond goes like this:
Everything you do, no matter how small, can matter. This means you matter.
Sappy? Far-fetched, even?
Actually, no. In fact, to demonstrate, here is a story, 100% true, that still amazes me.
When I was barely into my twenties, I was a volunteer "Big Brother" for Big Brothers/Big Sisters in the Chicago area. I was paired up with a young man named Chris—I seem to remember him being about fourteen, but he might have been a bit older. They told me he had lost a parent (I forget the specific circumstances) and that he was troubled.
As a volunteer big brother/sister, the idea is that you visit with them regularly and try to mentor them. This, of course, starts with forming a connection. So, I went there, eager to try and be a good influence. Upon my first visit, I tried to start a conversation. I tried asking questions about what he liked to do—Games? Movies? Other interests?
No response.
This was before cellphones, but he still managed to avoid eye contact by focusing on literally anything that was sitting around. I don't even remember what all.
I kept on trying. I shared (true) stories about my own background and my own messed up childhood…anything, you know, to try and establish a connection. He ignored me.
Sometimes I would get a one or two word reply. 'Yeah'. 'No'. 'I dunno'. A lot of 'I dunno's. Eventually, when the appointment time was over, I left.
I came back at our scheduled time the next week and tried again. And the week after. And the week after that. And it was much the same. He simply had no interest in interacting with me, at all.
I got bolder. I tried humor. I made fun of myself. Hell, I even cajoled him! What did I have to lose? Towards the end I just wanted to get a reaction—I didn't even care what it was.
Nothing. I think once or twice he did say something sort of nasty to me under his breath. And I was wrong—that wasn’t satisfying. It just made me sad.
After about two months or so, I gave up. I told my volunteer supervisor that it was pointless, that I obviously wasn't any good at it (which I didn't believe…I 100% blamed Chris) and that I had to resign so someone better than me could try and reach the kid.
The supervisor said she understood and she said no problem.
So, I was relieved. I got go to go back to my undergraduate college classes and my part-time jobs; and now I had more spare time to play videogames and pickup basketball…
End of story, right?
Sometimes, you have no way of knowing what kind of impact you are making in the world.
Several years later, I received a letter in the mail. This was before everyone had email. This was a handwritten letter.
It was from Chris.
To this day, I have no earthly idea how he got my address. I had moved several times—including to entirely different towns—by then. This was before social media in the very early days of the internet.
But in his letter, he thanked me. First, he apologized for how he'd acted during all of my visits. And then he told he that he had absolutely been listening to every word I said and that he appreciated all of the effort I put in trying to be his friend. He told me that, thanks to what I said, he felt like he had hope for hte future and he had plans to go to college and maybe learn how to help other people like I had tried to do for him.
I was blown away. Gobsmacked. There was absolutely no way that I thought I'd had any impact on him—let alone such a profound and (apparently) positive one!
And that's it. That’s the holiday message.
Everything you do, no matter how small, can matter. This means you matter.
This lesson meant a lot to me years later when I became a classroom teacher. On any given day, at any given moment, what was going on in my classroom could be making a huge impact. It was good to remember that.
~~~~~
And it’s good for all of us to remember in 2025 2026!
When things are darkest, that little bit of extra effort to do something positive (smiling during normal interactions with others, pausing before getting angry with someone to consider where they are coming from, doing things in person instead of by text or online, waving to someone during your daily walk…whatever the heck it is), or (to be sure) not going along with doing something really negative, may have a mighty impact.
Like the waving example. Maybe that little bit of energy you've infused the recipient of your wave with, will make them feel energized to go on and do something great!? Something greater than you could do right now, but you were the key to them doing it.
We're all in this together. We don’t all have to do great things. We just all have to do our part.
Everything you do, no matter how small, can matter.
This means you matter.
Happy Holidays,
*<:-{D]]]]
_Mark